My nanny is absolutely fabulous. She just adores the kids and I may have spied on her once and all I heard was "How many times am I gonna kiss you today? Mwah, mwah, mwah!" Accompanied by my babies giggles. I've heard her discipline Dylan in totally appropriate ways and get them all down for their naps happily.
Jazmin is about 53 yrs old, half-Italian, she is American, yet she has that loving foreigner personality where she wants to take care of you. She is chatty!! Like chatty times 100. :) She loves to talk, loves to give advice, and here's where it gets good... she is doing everything she can to find God's true church.
After she had only worked here for 2 days, she asked me what church I go to. I told her. After a pause, she rushed all sorts of thoughts she'd been having since her interview 4 days before that point.
She basically said - (I'm not using quotes because it's not an exact quote) - I admire your family so much. I just love how you treat your children and how you discipline them. I want to be like your family. I just love families.
I showed her The Family - A Proclamation to the World from The First Presidency. She took it home and loved it.
The next day, she asked about what we believe and asked about the "rules" of the church so she could decide if it was the church for her. I bore testimony of God, Jesus Christ, and the church being restored through a living prophet. I was grateful I served a mission bc it flowed so naturally and I know that was both the spirit and bc of my preparation and experience of sharing the gospel.
She just loved it. She couldn't believe she didn't know these things. She told me how thirsty she was to know the truths and she had tried 7th Day Adventist and Jehovah Witnesses and was raised Catholic. She just knew those were not the churches for her. She prays constantly and I just know with 100% certainty that God brought us together so that she could find the church.
When she asked others about visiting the Mormon church, they said you had to be invited. When I said I was Mormon, she got so excited because it was the one church she felt she hadn't explored and had always admired the way missionaries treat each other.
I immediately called the missionaries, they came over the next day. Two weeks later, she made it to church this Sunday with me. Everything was so new to her, she was just soaking it all in. The investigator lesson was fabulous about priesthood authority. At the end (she got a lot of attention as she was the only non-member or missionary - there were 6 Elders in there) Jazmin saw a portrait at the back of the room of Jesus Christ laying his hands on an apostle with the other apostles gathered around. She said, "Do you see that? I read and prayed about the Book of Mormon for hours. I feel God hit me over the head with a hammer that it was true. I was praying for a sign, and God knew I would need no less than a hammer. He hit me over the head with a hammer. That night, I had a dream. These 2 Elders, these 2 right here (the ones teaching her) had their hands on my head just like in that photo! I knew it was true."
The spirit was so strong. I feel so blessed to have been able to be a part of this experience. To know that she had literally never heard of "laying on of hands" or anything about blessings or priesthood authority before this point and then to have had a dream where the Elders had their hands laid on her head... it's just a miracle.
God loves us. I still sit here awed at the fact that God chose me to be the one to introduce her to the church and to be able to go on this journey with her.
When I started looking for a nanny, a last resort was to post on Craigslist, unsure what crazies might come along. Somehow, of the 20 people who replied to my ad, Jazmin was the only one who fit perfectly. Seriously, a couple other interviews were set up and they just fell through for random reasons. Plus, Jazmin confessed that she had another job offer for more than double what I'm paying her for only 1 kid, and she chose to work here. She said she just knew she wanted to work for me, her boyfriend still thinks she's crazy for it.
I know without a doubt that God directed her here. He directed me in my hiring. He allowed me to trust a complete stranger with my children (yes, I did do a background check). She has already bought them all Christmas gifts! Are you kidding me?? She's so amazing. I just love her. To top it off, she does the dishes, cleans the floors, and does the kids laundry.
She is currently working towards a baptismal date of January 11th. She has a lot of things to learn and do (like get married or become single, etc.), but she is golden and I know God will help her get there.
I feel like everything Bryce and I have gone through has led us to this point. If Bryce didn't leave me for a month, I never would have hired a nanny. God is directing His work. I'm so grateful He chose to use me. I literally did nothing, I hoped I could talk to this new nanny about the church at some point, but that's the extent of what I did. She and God did the rest and I'm just watching it go by in front of me.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
The 411
I need to find some pictures to add on here, the blog is getting a little boring with all this text.
Right now, I am working what seems like a lot of hours for Women for Decency. We are in the midst of a major rebranding which has been really fun to be on board for. We are refining our mission statement and goals while renaming our organization to be focused more on the kids rather than the women who are helping the kids learn how to reject porn.
I'm really enjoying my job. Some days it takes a lot more proactiveness than I want, but overall, I really love the freedom I'm given to share opinions, make a difference, and help with marketing and other businessy type decisions or projects. There is always something to do, something to improve.
The girls are really struggling with naps. I can't complain bc all kids usually sleep a solid 11-12 hours at night. The girls seem to nap for about 1 hour and then are cranky in the late evening bc they are so tired. They used to take two 1.5 hr naps, so not sure why it's down to one super short one. Thus, days are not so productive once my sweet Jazmin nanny leaves.
I love hanging out with my sweet babies when they get up from their naps. After the initial fussiness they are just super giggly and hilarious. They wake up about 2pm.
Dylan takes a super long nap and wakes up between 3-4pm (goes down at 1pm). Evenings are rough because these girls are ravenous! I swear I can never get enough food in them... and no, it's not always healthy food - they are starting to reject solid veggies, which is a pain because they loved baby food veggies.
The girls love to go to bed at night and practically throw themselves in bed immediately after I walk in their room. They each have a lovey and a stuffed animal that they must have to sleep. So adorbs.
Dylan is a bigger project to get to bed, but still adorbs. It takes bribes and threats to get him to go potty, put on pj's, go to bed. He generally likes his teeth brushed, reading books, and singing songs and will lay down nicely once all is finally completed. It's a long process sometimes. Tonight he was devastated to go to bed because we were playing tag and he just did not want to stop. I should have played for another 10 minutes to get a real good workout in. :)
The girls favorite game is Ring Around the Rosie. Sylvie is easy and likes to play it with me, but Axie tearfully requests with her outstretched hand that Dylan always join in... and he's apparently sick of playing it with us. Sad. It was so fun to have them all do it together, but now he feels it's a chore since he has to do it to keep Axie happy.
We spend tons of time in the backyard. Sadly it gets dark at 5pm, so evenings are rough! But, we are always out there at least from 4-5, or earlier depending on naps and post-nap snack. They spend mornings out there too. Such cuties. Love me sweet kids.
Right now, I am working what seems like a lot of hours for Women for Decency. We are in the midst of a major rebranding which has been really fun to be on board for. We are refining our mission statement and goals while renaming our organization to be focused more on the kids rather than the women who are helping the kids learn how to reject porn.
I'm really enjoying my job. Some days it takes a lot more proactiveness than I want, but overall, I really love the freedom I'm given to share opinions, make a difference, and help with marketing and other businessy type decisions or projects. There is always something to do, something to improve.
The girls are really struggling with naps. I can't complain bc all kids usually sleep a solid 11-12 hours at night. The girls seem to nap for about 1 hour and then are cranky in the late evening bc they are so tired. They used to take two 1.5 hr naps, so not sure why it's down to one super short one. Thus, days are not so productive once my sweet Jazmin nanny leaves.
I love hanging out with my sweet babies when they get up from their naps. After the initial fussiness they are just super giggly and hilarious. They wake up about 2pm.
Dylan takes a super long nap and wakes up between 3-4pm (goes down at 1pm). Evenings are rough because these girls are ravenous! I swear I can never get enough food in them... and no, it's not always healthy food - they are starting to reject solid veggies, which is a pain because they loved baby food veggies.
The girls love to go to bed at night and practically throw themselves in bed immediately after I walk in their room. They each have a lovey and a stuffed animal that they must have to sleep. So adorbs.
Dylan is a bigger project to get to bed, but still adorbs. It takes bribes and threats to get him to go potty, put on pj's, go to bed. He generally likes his teeth brushed, reading books, and singing songs and will lay down nicely once all is finally completed. It's a long process sometimes. Tonight he was devastated to go to bed because we were playing tag and he just did not want to stop. I should have played for another 10 minutes to get a real good workout in. :)
The girls favorite game is Ring Around the Rosie. Sylvie is easy and likes to play it with me, but Axie tearfully requests with her outstretched hand that Dylan always join in... and he's apparently sick of playing it with us. Sad. It was so fun to have them all do it together, but now he feels it's a chore since he has to do it to keep Axie happy.
We spend tons of time in the backyard. Sadly it gets dark at 5pm, so evenings are rough! But, we are always out there at least from 4-5, or earlier depending on naps and post-nap snack. They spend mornings out there too. Such cuties. Love me sweet kids.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
In Colorado
Bryce is currently staying in my sisters basement in Colorado looking for a job. He's been gone since Sunday, November 3 (10 days and counting)... and will get back November 27, the day before Thanksgiving.
I am here alone... with 3 kids.
My sanity comes from...
9am-1pm: My wonderful nanny, Jazmin! I work upstairs in my room on the computer while she's here. she just adores the kids. So awesome.
1-2pm: Naps. The girls wake up about 2 if I'm lucky, sometimes earlier (which means they barely slept since they go down at 12:30!), I eat lunch and finish any work.
Evenings: Alternate between my wonderful in-laws who bring me dinner or come visit and play with kids or paint Dylans used headboard we got months ago AND our best friends here Katie and Ben and kids who make us dinner or come here for dinner or play. If I have nothing planned, I load up the car or stroller and figure out something to do because sitting at home just makes for fussy, bored kids.
Nights: Bryce's brother comes and sleeps here at nights because I'm the most paranoid person ever and didn't sleep the first week Bryce was gone from all the noises.
Let's hope something works out while he's there! Or he will have to go spend all of December looking for a job as well. Ugh.
I am here alone... with 3 kids.
My sanity comes from...
9am-1pm: My wonderful nanny, Jazmin! I work upstairs in my room on the computer while she's here. she just adores the kids. So awesome.
1-2pm: Naps. The girls wake up about 2 if I'm lucky, sometimes earlier (which means they barely slept since they go down at 12:30!), I eat lunch and finish any work.
Evenings: Alternate between my wonderful in-laws who bring me dinner or come visit and play with kids or paint Dylans used headboard we got months ago AND our best friends here Katie and Ben and kids who make us dinner or come here for dinner or play. If I have nothing planned, I load up the car or stroller and figure out something to do because sitting at home just makes for fussy, bored kids.
Nights: Bryce's brother comes and sleeps here at nights because I'm the most paranoid person ever and didn't sleep the first week Bryce was gone from all the noises.
Let's hope something works out while he's there! Or he will have to go spend all of December looking for a job as well. Ugh.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Bar = P.A.S.S.E.D.
For reals yo. This is for reals!
A quick recap here... B graduated from UW in May 2012 when I was half way through my pregnancy with twins. I was on bedrest. A week later, I was put on extreme bedrest... do not stand up except to go to the bathroom. We moved in with my mom for help. So Bryce could study for the bar.
B flies to LA in July 2012 to take the CA Bar. I go into labor the day after the bar. False labor. Birth twins a week later, Aug 7. He goes to WY alone to pack up apartment to move us to CA. With 4 week old newborn twins we move to CA, where we only have his parents. We were dumb enough to move 30 minutes away from them, so help is limited. I have to put together a home with newborn twins and a 2 yr old. I got depressed. I got over it. We survived. We were sure he passed. Nov 2012 He didn't. Devastation.
Get over it. Get stoked to tackle it this time. He studies like crazy. I give all my time to watching kids 24/7 so he can focus on studying. I'm worn out. He's worn out. Feb 2013 takes the CA Bar again. Waiting for results is never-ending. Apply to random jobs. Not sure what to do. May 2013 He didn't pass by 1 point. Two graders, one graded high and one graded low, average was just barely not passing. They don't care if you get a tough grader. Only 44% of bar-takers passed CA Bar. He was in top 45%. Anger. Frustration.
After a year in CA, decide it's just not for our family. Ready for CO. I miss CO. I miss my family, they can't get to Bako too easily. Granted, we will miss his family a lot when we do move too. Wish we all could live in the same place.
Select CO Bar. Study. Fly to CO to take Bar July 2013. Wait for results. Look for random jobs and finally feel like looking for law jobs. Great interview in GJT, just barely missed that too. Fast forward to Thursday, October 10, 2013...
The day before, actually, was my bday, we got home late from our date. The night was rough with baby cries. So, in the morning, I actually went upstairs to take a short nap. Before I laid down I decided to check and see what time that afternoon (as they had said results would be posted that afternoon) results would be posted. As I look, I see a list posted of those who passed. I couldn't believe it.
I opened it to see if it was indeed an actual pass list. I quickly scrolled down and saw his name. HIS NAME was on the pass list! I zoomed in (I was on my iphone) and had to look about 3 times, then I ran out and screamed, "Bryce! You passed!" Silence. Where is Bryce? Is he in the back room? I start running down the stairs... he didn't hear me. Then I see him sitting on the couch, stunned to silence. Immediately he clarified with me that I wasn't saying he passed some other unimportant test... I was in fact, talking about the bar.
He jumped up and danced around, turned on some most important celebration music, and danced around while I sat crumpled up on the floor crying.
He passed with flying colors. You need a 276 to pass CO, a 273 to pass AZ, and a 270 to pass UT... he got a 295! So proud of my hubby and so unbelievably excited to move on to the next step of our lives...
What's that you ask? Looking for work. Yes, we've been doing that for a year, but now he can actually look for legitimate law work. He'll get sworn in next month and officially be an Esquire!
We've finally reached the top of this hideous bar mountain, and now have to face the next even bigger mountain of getting a job!
We are looking for work in CO, UT, and AZ, this bar is Uniform meaning we can pay a fee to transfer his score to a few other states - these are the ones with family where we want to live.
He passed.
I may end up on my own with kids while he heads off to CO to pound the pavement looking for a job. Something has got to turn up! Prayers are accepted. :)
A quick recap here... B graduated from UW in May 2012 when I was half way through my pregnancy with twins. I was on bedrest. A week later, I was put on extreme bedrest... do not stand up except to go to the bathroom. We moved in with my mom for help. So Bryce could study for the bar.
B flies to LA in July 2012 to take the CA Bar. I go into labor the day after the bar. False labor. Birth twins a week later, Aug 7. He goes to WY alone to pack up apartment to move us to CA. With 4 week old newborn twins we move to CA, where we only have his parents. We were dumb enough to move 30 minutes away from them, so help is limited. I have to put together a home with newborn twins and a 2 yr old. I got depressed. I got over it. We survived. We were sure he passed. Nov 2012 He didn't. Devastation.
Get over it. Get stoked to tackle it this time. He studies like crazy. I give all my time to watching kids 24/7 so he can focus on studying. I'm worn out. He's worn out. Feb 2013 takes the CA Bar again. Waiting for results is never-ending. Apply to random jobs. Not sure what to do. May 2013 He didn't pass by 1 point. Two graders, one graded high and one graded low, average was just barely not passing. They don't care if you get a tough grader. Only 44% of bar-takers passed CA Bar. He was in top 45%. Anger. Frustration.
After a year in CA, decide it's just not for our family. Ready for CO. I miss CO. I miss my family, they can't get to Bako too easily. Granted, we will miss his family a lot when we do move too. Wish we all could live in the same place.
Select CO Bar. Study. Fly to CO to take Bar July 2013. Wait for results. Look for random jobs and finally feel like looking for law jobs. Great interview in GJT, just barely missed that too. Fast forward to Thursday, October 10, 2013...
The day before, actually, was my bday, we got home late from our date. The night was rough with baby cries. So, in the morning, I actually went upstairs to take a short nap. Before I laid down I decided to check and see what time that afternoon (as they had said results would be posted that afternoon) results would be posted. As I look, I see a list posted of those who passed. I couldn't believe it.
I opened it to see if it was indeed an actual pass list. I quickly scrolled down and saw his name. HIS NAME was on the pass list! I zoomed in (I was on my iphone) and had to look about 3 times, then I ran out and screamed, "Bryce! You passed!" Silence. Where is Bryce? Is he in the back room? I start running down the stairs... he didn't hear me. Then I see him sitting on the couch, stunned to silence. Immediately he clarified with me that I wasn't saying he passed some other unimportant test... I was in fact, talking about the bar.
He jumped up and danced around, turned on some most important celebration music, and danced around while I sat crumpled up on the floor crying.
He passed with flying colors. You need a 276 to pass CO, a 273 to pass AZ, and a 270 to pass UT... he got a 295! So proud of my hubby and so unbelievably excited to move on to the next step of our lives...
What's that you ask? Looking for work. Yes, we've been doing that for a year, but now he can actually look for legitimate law work. He'll get sworn in next month and officially be an Esquire!
We've finally reached the top of this hideous bar mountain, and now have to face the next even bigger mountain of getting a job!
We are looking for work in CO, UT, and AZ, this bar is Uniform meaning we can pay a fee to transfer his score to a few other states - these are the ones with family where we want to live.
He passed.
I may end up on my own with kids while he heads off to CO to pound the pavement looking for a job. Something has got to turn up! Prayers are accepted. :)
Monday, October 14, 2013
The Big 3-0!
Yes, 3-0 stands for 30. I am officially 30 years old!
It's so weird to vividly remember what it was like at age 16 thinking 20 was super old and at age 20 I thought 28 was older than old... I have now passed those ages and entered my 30s!
I am so excited for my 30s. Granted, when I imagined my 30s I always thought my life would be much more figured out than it currently is... I am still excited.
I have the most beautiful family. Not a day goes by that I don't sit in awe for at least a few seconds at just how much I love my children (and my husband). By the time I am saying good-bye to my thirties I will have a 13 year old boy with twin 11 year old girls... plus one more little munchkin. Not an announcement. I just know I want another baby... unless that baby splits into 2 like our last one... we may 1/700,000 chance (something like that) have twins again.
My birthday fell on a Wednesday. Sadly, I had to celebrate the day working. Bryce took the kids over to his parents house so I could hammer out some work. It was really nice to be able to relax, focus on work, and enjoy a relaxing lunch in front of the tv (which I actually try to do while babies sleep, I need my food/tv time). Around 4:30 (they left about 10am), I really started to get bored. I didn't want to work anymore. I wanted to see my babies and have some birthday time with them before our date.
Finally, around 5:30 Bryce brought my babies back home. His mom and brother watched the kids while we went out to dinner at Red Pepper (mexican food, it was ok) and saw the movie Gravity. It was an interesting movie, most people loved it. I liked it... but watching one person in space for an hour isn't my ideal movie. I did love the time with Bryce. Dinner was quite pleasant, we tried to steer clear of talking about the bar, as we have for the past couple months. We just pretend like it doesn't exist and go about our lives.
From Bryce I got three new lularoe maxi skirts. They do these maxi-skirt parties and you just go try on a bunch of them and buy the ones you want. Bryce loved that he didn't have to shop for me and I loved playing with girlfriends and picking out some new comfy skirts! I love mine, by the way.
The kids colored a beautiful card for me that I will treasure forever. I love watching how Dylan is starting to focus on coloring in certain items on the page (his hand on this one) rather than general scribbles.
My family all gave me money to go shopping... can't complain. I love my family (this includes Bryce's family, which is now my family).
I actually got Bryce the coolest gift on my birthday. I write this for memory sake, not to brag that I am the most selfless wife out there... but... maybe I am... ;)
I asked for money from family for my bday rather than gifts so that I could buy Bryce a new iPhone 5. He has been dealing with a jailbroken iPhone 3 that is super slow and has limited apps. It takes 10 seconds to even get in to make a call... that is SLOW. He has been so patient since we just don't have money to spend. We're on a StraightTalk phone plan through Walmart so that monthly the phones are under $45 for unlimited everything, but then you have to buy your phone... this turned out to be cheaper than any other phone plan we could find including the free/cheaper phones.
Point being... we got him an iPhone 5 for my birthday because that's honestly all I wanted. I just wanted to get him what he deserved and what I knew would make him super happy. Now... if I could just get him to put the phone down and hang with me. JK... well... kind of...
Happy 30th Birthday to me... soon Bryce will follow me into his thirties... two months younger than me.
It's so weird to vividly remember what it was like at age 16 thinking 20 was super old and at age 20 I thought 28 was older than old... I have now passed those ages and entered my 30s!
I am so excited for my 30s. Granted, when I imagined my 30s I always thought my life would be much more figured out than it currently is... I am still excited.
I have the most beautiful family. Not a day goes by that I don't sit in awe for at least a few seconds at just how much I love my children (and my husband). By the time I am saying good-bye to my thirties I will have a 13 year old boy with twin 11 year old girls... plus one more little munchkin. Not an announcement. I just know I want another baby... unless that baby splits into 2 like our last one... we may 1/700,000 chance (something like that) have twins again.
My birthday fell on a Wednesday. Sadly, I had to celebrate the day working. Bryce took the kids over to his parents house so I could hammer out some work. It was really nice to be able to relax, focus on work, and enjoy a relaxing lunch in front of the tv (which I actually try to do while babies sleep, I need my food/tv time). Around 4:30 (they left about 10am), I really started to get bored. I didn't want to work anymore. I wanted to see my babies and have some birthday time with them before our date.
Finally, around 5:30 Bryce brought my babies back home. His mom and brother watched the kids while we went out to dinner at Red Pepper (mexican food, it was ok) and saw the movie Gravity. It was an interesting movie, most people loved it. I liked it... but watching one person in space for an hour isn't my ideal movie. I did love the time with Bryce. Dinner was quite pleasant, we tried to steer clear of talking about the bar, as we have for the past couple months. We just pretend like it doesn't exist and go about our lives.
From Bryce I got three new lularoe maxi skirts. They do these maxi-skirt parties and you just go try on a bunch of them and buy the ones you want. Bryce loved that he didn't have to shop for me and I loved playing with girlfriends and picking out some new comfy skirts! I love mine, by the way.
The kids colored a beautiful card for me that I will treasure forever. I love watching how Dylan is starting to focus on coloring in certain items on the page (his hand on this one) rather than general scribbles.
My family all gave me money to go shopping... can't complain. I love my family (this includes Bryce's family, which is now my family).
I actually got Bryce the coolest gift on my birthday. I write this for memory sake, not to brag that I am the most selfless wife out there... but... maybe I am... ;)
I asked for money from family for my bday rather than gifts so that I could buy Bryce a new iPhone 5. He has been dealing with a jailbroken iPhone 3 that is super slow and has limited apps. It takes 10 seconds to even get in to make a call... that is SLOW. He has been so patient since we just don't have money to spend. We're on a StraightTalk phone plan through Walmart so that monthly the phones are under $45 for unlimited everything, but then you have to buy your phone... this turned out to be cheaper than any other phone plan we could find including the free/cheaper phones.
Point being... we got him an iPhone 5 for my birthday because that's honestly all I wanted. I just wanted to get him what he deserved and what I knew would make him super happy. Now... if I could just get him to put the phone down and hang with me. JK... well... kind of...
Happy 30th Birthday to me... soon Bryce will follow me into his thirties... two months younger than me.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Couch Smash
Could my little Axie be any cuter? These girls LOVE to crawl in between and behind the armchair. So hilarious and adorable.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Maybe Next Time
He didn't get the job.
How is this our life? We are always 1 point short or somehow on the wrong side of the coin toss.
The attorney who interviewed Bryce for the job called him today and said this is the hardest decision he's had to make. They knew on Friday that they were torn between Bryce and another guy. They couldn't decide. Today, they finally decided on the other guy. In essence, it was a coin toss... they just had to choose one and we lost.
I cried. Bryce actually handled it really well and is ready to contact more firms and get more interviews.
This hit me harder than not passing the bar. I don't know why. I think it's because we were so sure he had it. The guy LOVED him.
He's apparently recommending Bryce to other attorney's in town and is sending their info to us so we can send our resume over. I just don't get why we are always just barely short of success.
I know, my life is great. I'm blessed. I know. But, I don't feel like I should always have to balance my comments, I know how I feel. I love my family. Of all the trials I can think of... this isn't so bad... but, it doesn't make it pleasant.
One day, we'll be fine. But, until then, I'm just worn out. I'm sick of barely having money. I'm sick of having to depend on all sorts of welfare from people. I just want us to take care of ourselves. I want to buy a house. I want to settle down somewhere. I want to know that we're permanently where we reside for a few years. I'm sick of not knowing where I'll be in a month. I don't want to depend on volunteer babysitters.
We're not really lacking in things. I don't know how I don't feel poor. I just don't buy anything. Gosh, if I had money, I would probably be wasting it on all sorts of cute clothes. I'd like a gym membership too... and some babysitting. Maybe some nice dinners. I'd love to decorate my home. I see all these gorgeous decorations and pieces of furniture... I can't afford any of it. We can't even afford a nice rug for our hard floor in our living room.
I'm so sick of being practical and careful with our money. If we were still in school, it wouldn't be a big deal. But, we're out of school. Life should be moving on. It hasn't yet.
I don't need words of encouragement. I more just need people to say, gosh, that sucks. :)
We are fine. We'll be fine. He was the top 2 out of 44 applicants... so, we feel that means something has to come soon. He's gotta be on the right side of a coin toss at some point!
Maybe he'll even get a job in Denver, where we would love to live even more than Grand Junction. I sure had my heart set there though. We were just so sure. I hate that I keep getting my hopes up. I hate that my hopes are always wrong. I just hope my hopes are not wrong in hoping he passed the CO Bar. Just one piece of good news this year (obviously, I mean regarding jobs... we have plenty of other good news). Yep. That would be nice.
Only one more month to wait. No money to do anything in the meantime to take our minds off it. Yay. Maybe I should just stop watching every penny. I just want to do whatever I want. Yes, I am more than aware that even in my "dire" situation I'm still better off than probably 85% of the world.
The most annoying part is that we wanted this job so bad and it only paid the same that each of us made with our jobs before quitting them and sending him to law school! Ugh.
How is this our life? We are always 1 point short or somehow on the wrong side of the coin toss.
The attorney who interviewed Bryce for the job called him today and said this is the hardest decision he's had to make. They knew on Friday that they were torn between Bryce and another guy. They couldn't decide. Today, they finally decided on the other guy. In essence, it was a coin toss... they just had to choose one and we lost.
I cried. Bryce actually handled it really well and is ready to contact more firms and get more interviews.
This hit me harder than not passing the bar. I don't know why. I think it's because we were so sure he had it. The guy LOVED him.
He's apparently recommending Bryce to other attorney's in town and is sending their info to us so we can send our resume over. I just don't get why we are always just barely short of success.
I know, my life is great. I'm blessed. I know. But, I don't feel like I should always have to balance my comments, I know how I feel. I love my family. Of all the trials I can think of... this isn't so bad... but, it doesn't make it pleasant.
One day, we'll be fine. But, until then, I'm just worn out. I'm sick of barely having money. I'm sick of having to depend on all sorts of welfare from people. I just want us to take care of ourselves. I want to buy a house. I want to settle down somewhere. I want to know that we're permanently where we reside for a few years. I'm sick of not knowing where I'll be in a month. I don't want to depend on volunteer babysitters.
We're not really lacking in things. I don't know how I don't feel poor. I just don't buy anything. Gosh, if I had money, I would probably be wasting it on all sorts of cute clothes. I'd like a gym membership too... and some babysitting. Maybe some nice dinners. I'd love to decorate my home. I see all these gorgeous decorations and pieces of furniture... I can't afford any of it. We can't even afford a nice rug for our hard floor in our living room.
I'm so sick of being practical and careful with our money. If we were still in school, it wouldn't be a big deal. But, we're out of school. Life should be moving on. It hasn't yet.
I don't need words of encouragement. I more just need people to say, gosh, that sucks. :)
We are fine. We'll be fine. He was the top 2 out of 44 applicants... so, we feel that means something has to come soon. He's gotta be on the right side of a coin toss at some point!
Maybe he'll even get a job in Denver, where we would love to live even more than Grand Junction. I sure had my heart set there though. We were just so sure. I hate that I keep getting my hopes up. I hate that my hopes are always wrong. I just hope my hopes are not wrong in hoping he passed the CO Bar. Just one piece of good news this year (obviously, I mean regarding jobs... we have plenty of other good news). Yep. That would be nice.
Only one more month to wait. No money to do anything in the meantime to take our minds off it. Yay. Maybe I should just stop watching every penny. I just want to do whatever I want. Yes, I am more than aware that even in my "dire" situation I'm still better off than probably 85% of the world.
The most annoying part is that we wanted this job so bad and it only paid the same that each of us made with our jobs before quitting them and sending him to law school! Ugh.
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